Fun Stuff

One Big Soft Spot

One Big Soft Spot
By Stella Drexler

Joe has a freakishly huge, squishy head. Life is hard.

FADE IN

EXT. A CITY STREET

Joe, a tall man with an enormous, squishy head and a skinny body is walking down the street. His face is frozen in a blank expression and he has no hair on his head. Only his body language and tone of voice indicate his mood. His mouth does not move as he speaks. He walks with a sort of jaunty bounce, which quickly becomes a slow, miserable trudge as he endures ridicule and cruelty. As he passes by, people turn to stare, point and snicker behind their hands.

JOE VOICE OVER
It’s hard being a guy with a huge, squishy head.
People are cruel.

People point and stare Joe passes by. A LITTLE GIRL with pigtails holding her mother’s hand points at him.

LITTLE GIRL
Mom, look at that guy! He’s got a huge squishy head! Is he one of them mental patients?

The Little Girl’s mother gives Joe a dirty look, as if he has done something wrong. Joe turns to shout after them as they pass by, frightening them.

JOE
I’m not mental.
I’m not mental!

CUT TO EXT. A PARK BENCH

JOE VOICE OVER
Girls don’t take me seriously

Joe sits down next to a young, pretty WOMAN on a bench. She looks at him.

WOMAN
What’s that thing on your head? Is that a weather balloon?

JOE
There’s nothing on my head!

WOMAN
Is it going to rain tomorrow?

CUT TO INT. DARK MOVIE THEATRE

JOE VOICE OVER
Movies are a painful reminder of my condition

Joe’s head is blocking the screen in silhouette.

MOVIE GOER 1
Hey! The bobble head in the front row! You’re blocking the screen!

MOVIE GOER 2
Sit in the back, freak!
CUT TO EXT. BASEBALL FIELD

JOE VOICE OVER
I got kicked off the baseball team.

Joe is the bat boy. He is standing on the sidelines near the batter. The batter becomes distracted as he hits the ball, which hits Joe’s head and bounces off, landing out of bounds.

REFEREE
Foul ball!

CUT TO INT. BEDROOM
JOE VOICE OVER
Sex is awkward.

The back of Joe’s big bald head is visible. A woman‘s legs are sticking out around it like antennas.

WOMAN
I’m sorry. I just don’t bend that way. Not even for an extra fifty.

CUT TO INT. COMIC BOOK STORE

JOE VOICE OVER
Even the nerds make fun of me.

As they see Joe pass by, two NERDS nudge each other. smirking. Joe stands silent and still in increasing dejection as he listens to their taunts.

NERD 1
That is one vastly huge and mind-bogglingly big head.

NERD 2
I bet he has a brain the size of a planet.

NERD 3
Your head looks just like Uranus!

CUT TO INT. APARTMENT

Joe comes home. His shoulders are slumped in dejection. He drops heavily onto the couch. His ROOMMATE walks into the room.

ROOMMATE
Hey, man. How was your day?

JOE
Sighs exaggeratedly
It was awful. I’ve never been so humiliated. Someone mistook my head for a UFO and called Homeland Security. They have a very terrifying alien invasion response team.

ROOMMATE
Angry
Damnit, Joe. If you didn’t wear that stupid squishy head all the time, people wouldn’t treat you that way.

Joe is silent a moment. He heaves a great angry sigh and pulls the head off. Underneath, he is just a normal guy.

JOE
You just don’t get it!

ROOMMATE
Whatever, dude.

Roommate goes to his room and slams the door.

JOE
Puts the head back on and slumps dejectedly
How else am I supposed to get people to pay attention to me?

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s